But if there was, that's not something I'd want people to avoid talking to me about. Men, and especially women, should not be ashamed about being sterile. It's definitely heartbreaking for those that want to have kids naturally and can't, and you definitely can't make them feel better by saying, "well, just adopt!" because it's certainly not the same. It ignores the idea that these people feel like they're broken.
I more or less ran off topic. The point of this blog post wasn't supposed to be sterility at all. It was supposed to be about something my fiance said to me the other day and it really got me thinking.
I really admire my grandmother. Every time I visit her house, she always has beautiful flowers around her house. She really does have a green thumb with plants and it really enhances the exterior of their home.
I thought I had a black thumb. I tried keeping two of those ice-cube orchids alive. The first one died the first week. The second one died in two weeks. So I tried with some outdoor plants (my indoor plants are limited because I have a stupid cat that eats all of my plants at least once). I had some cute lilies. They bloomed after a week or two and then faded. I cut them and they seemed healthy. I think they're dead now, along with the moss I had next to them. I have some geraniums that are still blooming off and on (those things are the only things I still have alive).
Anyway, John has watched me kill just about every plant I get, and it's not because I have a black thumb. It's because I don't give them enough attention. My biggest flaw is that I work too much. Of course I don't see it as a flaw because I like my work, I like what I do at work, and so I actually like working a lot. There are some nights where if John doesn't call me when he gets home, I'd stay at work as late as 10pm after being there since 8:30am.
But plants can't survive if they're not taken care of, and if I work all day, sleep, and work all day the next day, the next thing you know, the plants are dead by the end of the week and I scratch my head wondering why. Well, I'm not wondering anymore, because John helped me realize that I need to make time for these plants if I want them to remain alive.
Now obviously this doesn't work exactly the same as children, because children aren't plants and require a lot more work than just being watered and pruned every so often. But I can't have children yet because I haven't yet figured out how to make time for them. And as we all cried to that scene in Adam Sandler's movie, Click... "family comes first."
I don't want a flap for a stomach.
