Why I can't have children

Before I scare my family members half to death, there's nothing wrong with me. At least we haven't tried to have children yet because we're waiting to get married in December and looking to buy a house in the next year or two first.

But if there was, that's not something I'd want people to avoid talking to me about. Men, and especially women, should not be ashamed about being sterile. It's definitely heartbreaking for those that want to have kids naturally and can't, and you definitely can't make them feel better by saying, "well, just adopt!" because it's certainly not the same. It ignores the idea that these people feel like they're broken.

I more or less ran off topic. The point of this blog post wasn't supposed to be sterility at all. It was supposed to be about something my fiance said to me the other day and it really got me thinking.

I really admire my grandmother. Every time I visit her house, she always has beautiful flowers around her house. She really does have a green thumb with plants and it really enhances the exterior of their home.

I thought I had a black thumb. I tried keeping two of those ice-cube orchids alive. The first one died the first week. The second one died in two weeks. So I tried with some outdoor plants (my indoor plants are limited because I have a stupid cat that eats all of my plants at least once). I had some cute lilies. They bloomed after a week or two and then faded. I cut them and they seemed healthy. I think they're dead now, along with the moss I had next to them. I have some geraniums that are still blooming off and on (those things are the only things I still have alive).

Anyway, John has watched me kill just about every plant I get, and it's not because I have a black thumb. It's because I don't give them enough attention. My biggest flaw is that I work too much. Of course I don't see it as a flaw because I like my work, I like what I do at work, and so I actually like working a lot. There are some nights where if John doesn't call me when he gets home, I'd stay at work as late as 10pm after being there since 8:30am.

But plants can't survive if they're not taken care of, and if I work all day, sleep, and work all day the next day, the next thing you know, the plants are dead by the end of the week and I scratch my head wondering why. Well, I'm not wondering anymore, because John helped me realize that I need to make time for these plants if I want them to remain alive.

Now obviously this doesn't work exactly the same as children, because children aren't plants and require a lot more work than just being watered and pruned every so often. But I can't have children yet because I haven't yet figured out how to make time for them. And as we all cried to that scene in Adam Sandler's movie, Click... "family comes first."

I don't want a flap for a stomach.

All About Dat Davis

If you have the internet, you've probably heard of Kim Davis.

Move over, we've got another one!

I like to do my research, so I'm looking at her Wikipedia page as I write my article to make sure I bring you guys all the real facts.

Kim Davis is [was?] the Chief Deputy Clerk of Rowan County, Kentucky. Her job's responsibilities includes issuing marriage license to couples intending to marry. Because not all of us young people are married yet, let me clarify how the marriage process works in the United States.

When two people want to get married, they must apply for a marriage license. They fill out some forms regarding themselves, their status (if a citizen or an alien), and a little information about their parents. You then have a small conversation with a clerk to verify your information and then they will process it. You should receive your license in the mail afterward. This is where people that intend to marry get caught if they aren't allowed. Say, for example, someone between the ages of 15 and 18 without their parent's consent (those age limits varies by state) wouldn't be allowed to marry. Until recently, same sex marriages were also not allowed, so they often got denied at this point in the process.

Once you have your license, you have 60 days to get married by an officiant, justice of the peace, priest, reverend, judge, etc. These people fill out your license, sign it, and then send it off to get you your certificate. Once you have that certificate, your marital status has officially changed from single to married.

So you can see where Kim Davis fits into the entire scheme of things, stopping same sex couples from getting married in Kentucky when they are totally allowed to now. That's the big beef. But let's take a look at this from both sides.

Christian Hero Kim Davis

Kim Davis believes so profoundly that she is a good Christian. Who are we to argue with that? Does she go to church every week? Does she pray every night? Maybe, maybe not. We shall not judge for only He can (or something like that, I'm not particularly religious).

Point being, Kim Davis believes that her God does not want same sex people getting married, so she is only doing what she thinks God wants her to do. She believes that nobody, not even the government, should force her do things that specifically goes against her religious beliefs. Specifically, the first Amendment of our US Constitution declares that Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.

As you can see, that is a pretty strong statement, so you can understand why people are rallying for her. Her followers believe she is standing up for your first Amendment because her and her followers believe that the decision to allow same-sex marriage violates it.

Dumb Lazy Bitch Kim Davis

So who are the people that are against Kim Davis and why?

Well, this goes back to my rant about modern developers. You can't change the company you work for if you're low on the totem poll, but you can change yourself to adapt, else you can change who you work for. So if you want to be a successful employee, do the job you were hired to do, or find another job. Kim Davis doesn't seem to be doing either, so this mess is what ensued.

There are a lot of controversial issues that are dependent on the outcome of this one, and one of them is women's rights to abortion. Why do I say that? Because this issue with Kim Davis is a much larger one. It's not just about same sex marriages and why Kim Davis won't issue marriage licenses to eligible couples.

The Separation of Church from State

One of the biggest reasons why a couple of Englishmen packed their bags and moved to the America was because England does not have a separation of Church from State. If you ask anyone from England what the official religion of England is, they will answer "Christian."

If you ask any natural born citizen of America what the official religion of America is, they will also probably answer "Christian," because my fiance asked me, and that's what I said.

But that is wrong. America has no official or national religion. We have the separation of Church from State.

What does that mean? Well, like the first Amendment states, our government must respect any establishment of religion and cannot prohibit the free exercise of it.

So is that what is happening here? Is the government really prohibiting Kim Davis from exercising her religion? That's a big yes-or-no question, so answering either one definitively requires a lengthy reason to back it up.

But let's back up a minute. I did say that this is bigger than Kim Davis. So let me elaborate on that.

Kim Davis believes her first Amendment was violated, so she reacts by not issuing the marriage licenses to eligible couples. Well, according to the ruling that was passed this year that allowed these previously ineligible couples to become eligible couples, Kim Davis is now violating that by refusing to do her job. Please note that in that article, it says, "thereby requiring all states to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples." as a result of the U.S. Supreme Court ruling. Kim Davis deliberately broke the law and was jailed for it.

But here's the big point that a lot of people seem to be missing. Kim Davis isn't just fighting for her own rights to religion; she's fighting for everyone's right to religion to be held higher than anyone's civil rights.

If she wins, then crap like this could follow.

Read the full Constitution of America here.

PLANES! PLANES! PLAAAAAANES!!!!

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of going on my first commercial airplane. I specify commercial airplane because of what I did last summer with my sister.

And this here perfectly captures my face of amazement as I'm now leaving the ground for the first time in my life.

I probably wouldn't ever do it again, unless someone dared me to or thought I wouldn't.

But that's all fine and dandy because I didn't have to go through security or drag any belongings with me. That's something my fiance and I did just this weekend. And let me tell you, don't get on a plane when you're wearing a bedazzled shirt. That shit picks up on their full-body scanners and prompted the security EACH TIME to physically run their gloved hand between my breasts to check for hidden items. It didn't mind, but I was a bit clueless when it came to what I was supposed to be doing. They've been doing this job for years, probably, and assume most people have flown on a plane before, I just kept standing where they pointed and left my body in the last position they told me to put it in. They probably thought I was an android.

Regardless, I got a cool wing seat!

All in all, I had a great time flying. It turned what John thinks is incredibly dull and mundane into something more exciting because of my increased enthusiasm.

Why can't things just work?

Here's a little something I've been struggling with lately. Technology. I wouldn't say I'm horrible at it, but I know enough to make me dangerous. I make things for the internet, after all! The best part is that I'm not the only one. There are plenty of people out there that make things for the people that make things.

Tools, platforms, plugins, packages, whatchamacallits...

Very talented people put together some really cool shit to make my life as a developer easier, but sometimes these talented people don't know how to document their shit, and that usually makes my life harder.

In the advertising industry, speed is a necessity. If you can build products faster than the other guy, then you're probably alright. To get that edge, you can't keep reinventing the wheel by writing your custom code all of the time. Do you miss your deadlines? You're probably too creative for your job.

To remedy that, we use these tools and plugins to develop quicker, getting the same results from someone else's hard work (but they usually make it open source, so it's totally okay).

My struggle is when a certain tool or plugin is highly rated, but I'm the idiot that can't figure out how to use it. Basically, I'm not winning, and I don't like it.

/rant

A Lesson on Immigration

One of the hottest topics in today's politics is immigration. More specifically, our people are divided in trying to either keep illegal aliens out of the country, or whether they should be granted citizenship, and I'll tell you something right now; I'm a registered Democrat but my British fiance and I agree with the Republicans on this facet, and here's why.

Everyone is focused on illegals.

Americans are forgetting that legal immigrants are totally a thing. And the fact of the matter is that these legal immigrants that want to join our country, and are trying to go about it the correct way, still have a difficult time, if not more so than an illegal immigrant that just does things anyway and doesn't tell anyone about it.

So let me ask a few questions.

If this person is here illegally, why are they still here? When landlords rent to tenants, they have very specific contracts and there are laws to protect both sides from bullshit, such as sub-renting, and letting your friends live with you without being on the contract. Those people get evicted. So why are we so lenient with illegal immigrants?

If California is giving away free healthcare to illegal immigrants, why can't our legal immigrants or even our own citizens get free healthcare? We're giving them driver's licenses in North Carolina. Fuck, we might be giving them citizenship in the near future. Why are we even giving benefits to illegals at all? That's like telling them it's okay to be illegal!!!

"Hello Ma'dam, I'm glad to see you've successfully evaded the U.S. government for several years now. Here's your citizenship card!"

So what does that say to our legal immigrants? "I'm sorry, you should've sneaked over here if you wanted to be a citizen"??

Just about every single American's knowledge of the immigration system comes from watching The Proposal, which is totally and utterly wrong. When I tell people that I'm getting married to a British guy and that we can't leave the country for our honeymoon because of his current visa status, they always say, "But you're getting married. Doesn't that make him a citizen?"

No. Just no. That's so totally wrong. Now let me tell you why.

My fiance is here on an educational visa. That means it's temporary and he was expected to return to the U.K. when it expires. Because of a very specific set of circumstances, his visa status became subject to a two year home residency clause, which also meant that when his visa expired and he went back, that he couldn't come back to the U.S. for two years, even if he was married with children. Getting married and starting a family has no bearing on his visa status, because his visa is like a contract with the federal government and it specifically states that two year home residency.

Now there is hope for us, and we did successfully get through this, but John applied for a waiver that would essentially remove that two year home residency clause from his visa. It took many months for the Department of State to do its investigation on him and then send their favorable recommendation to the Feds for them to make their decision. Well luckily for us, they decided to give him the waiver. So now the next step is available to us.

After we get married, I can then petition the government to sponsor a green card for John. Yes, I said that correctly. I petition the government to sponsor a green card for John. We don't just submit an application and get it. It is yet another lengthy process. The only thing that movie got right was that they do get interviewed, except that you can totally bring your lawyer with you to the interviews, and that they only interview the couple, not your entire family.

Also, the green card that he gets is only a temporary green card. If we were to divorce within the first two years of our marriage, I could revoke my sponsorship and his green card could get taken away. At the two-year mark, we will have to fill out another form to make his green card permanent. Just so everyone knows, this still does not make him a citizen. For John to become a U.S. citizen, he will need to have a permanent green card, and then go through the naturalization process. It basically ends with a history test on the U.S. Most naturalized citizens know more about our country than the American born citizens.

TL;DR
Getting married does not make my alien fiance into a U.S. citizen. It takes years of submitting forms to the government. And apparently we're okay with granting illegal immigrants citizenship for evading the government for five years.

Honestly, the only scenario in which I have any empathy for an illegal immigrant is one with which had no choice in the matter. And by that, I mean a child that was brought over. We should protect those children as they grow up, because they've grown up with Americans, believing that they too are Americans. That doesn't excuse the friends or family that brought them over, but not everyone is equal.

A Rant Regarding Modern Developers

Anyone remember that whole Mac vs PC debate? Yeah? Well you're right, it was so 1980's... (shut up Linux users, nobody cares about you... yet!). In all reality, I'm actually quite shocked that this is still a thing. I mean, okay, I guess it's okay for Bloggers and gamers, and people that use computers because they don't have to think about anyone but themselves. They can use whatever they want because to them, computers are leisure activities, so they can play with what makes them happy.

Image Credit

But I work for an advertising agency. More specifically, I develop websites for this company's clients. This company just so happens to be a .NET shop. And for those of you that don't know, .NET was developed by Microsoft for Microsoft products like Windows, aka "the PC." At work, we use a lot of Microsoft products and programs like Team Foundation Server (TFS) and Visual Studio. When I started working here, I didn't know anything about .NET. I knew HTML, CSS, JavaScript/jQuery, things of that nature, etc. I knew mostly basic stuff. But I'm pretty open minded, I think, so I learned how to develop a website in .NET at this company. If I had gotten a job in a place where they created websites solely in PHP, I would've learned that too because that's what the company uses, so as its employee, that's what I needed to learn and use.

I sometimes forget that people are vastly different. And honestly, I'm still surprised and baffled by their decisions. During my time at this company, we've hired people that are not just people that prefer Apple products, but are actively anti-Microsoft.

Image Credit

Now as a developer, specifically a developer in a fast-paced environment such as the advertising industry, I firmly believe that the developer should use whatever tools they want in order to be most efficient in their work so that it can get to QA as fast as humanly possible. And that works perfectly when you work independently. But when you're on a team, and when you're expected to hand off files to another developer to continue working, there needs to be some kind of standard so that the "ramping up" time for the new developer to pick up where you left off is minimized. Nobody wants to waste time teaching (or being taught) how to make your website files run. When you're on a team, everybody should know that. It's not just basic, it's necessary. You might have to show them around the codebase a bit for the new developer to get familiar, but otherwise, they could (and should) just as easily pull the files down from the cloud and just start tinkering with stuff.

What I'm saying is that while developers can have their biases, their opinions, and their preferences, that these should not be what dictates their tools. Developers should not be anti-Microsoft or anti-Apple. They should be open to learn whatever tools are necessary for doing the job, and doing it well. When you start your own company, you can use whatever you want. But while you're working for a company that primarily uses .NET, you better fucking learn .NET.

Not happy with it? Get a new job.



Disclaimer: Despite what you may think, this rant is not "pro-Microsoft" and you probably only think it is because you're anti-Microsoft. The fact of the matter is that my job demands that I use Microsoft products. Had I been working at a company that requires me to use Apple products, then this article would still be the same except with the roles reversed.

The 2015 PittsBurgher from a Picky Eater's Perspective

Being a picky eater is not fun. Nobody who is a picky eater enjoys it. We look at delicious food. We smell delicious food, but we cannot enjoy the taste of that delicious food and it makes us sad. Sometimes we can grow into foods. For example, I started to like burgers, just plain burgers, when I was 23, and eventually the other condiments in the years after. I still hate mustard, and mayonnaise is my arch nemesis. However, you cannot force me to like foods. I can't even force me to like foods. So please trust me, and your picky friends, when we say we don't like something, because chances are we've tried it at least twenty times. You aren't the only person to tell us that we won't know unless we've tried it.

Fortunately and unfortunately, BBQ cheeseburgers quickly became my favorite food. The unfortunate part is that I rarely stray away from that burger because I generally discovered that I hate most other flavors in a burger. So coming from a distraught picky eater, I went to the 2015 PittsBurgher event and rated each burger. Here's how it went, starting with my least favorite.

The Godfather from Latitude 360

This burger was simply awful for me. I think it had relish or something in it. I was hesitant in trying it. In fact, I didn't want to, but I brought myself to do it and I did not like the flavor of this one at all. I'm sure there are people out there that loves this kind of flavor, but it isn't me.

Rating: 1

Big Kahuna Burger from Cain's Saloon

I got really excited for this burger because it had grilled pineapple in it. I love pineapples. However, I did not like it one bit because simply put, it was way too spicy. I never got to taste the pineapple because the red chili pepper flakes they put in their coleslaw was too overbearing and felt like it burned my tongue.

Big Kahuna Rating: 1

Casino Royale with Cheese from BND'z Burgerz and Dogz

I've never been a fan of spicy foods. My mouth is just too sensitive and it sucks. It really limits what I can enjoy, and that includes this delicious looking burger which I just couldn't.

Rating: 2

Black and Bleu BBQ Bacon Burger from Duke's Rib House & Grille

I really had my hopes up for this one because it had some of my favorite ingredients in it. Sadly, my experience with bleu cheese was not a favorable one, and it had an overbearing flavor. It was quite tough because the burger itself was actually very flavorful, so to have a single flavor really overwhelm it was quite surprising.

Rating: 3

Doce's Burger from Twelve on Carson

This one was just kind of sad. I didn't get to taste this one too well because this sandwich was sloppy and overwhelmed with my nemesis, mayo. I could taste the other veggies after the initial mayo shock, and it was a yummy garden, but I could not take to tasting that mayonnaise again.

Rating: 4

Bacon Cheddar "Mini B" Sliders from Bill's Bar & Burger

Not spicy (finally, I had too many spicy ones before this little guy), but it also didn't seam to have a wow factor. Yeah, the pretzel bun was cool, but it was also pretty bland. My fiancé went on about how he could taste a special sauce, but I couldn't. At least I ate the whole thing.

Rating: 6

Phenom from Jamison's

This one was hardly fair because it was a kielbasa and not a burger. But despite my past experiences with kielbasa, mushrooms, and something else they said that sounded gross, it was actually pretty tasty. I still picked off the mushrooms as I saw them and ate the ones I didn't.

Rating: 7

TMB (Tomato Mozzarella Basil) from Max & Erma's

This one tasted really good. It was a powerful flavor, but the grilled tomato and mozzarella reminded me of my staple meal, John's bolognese. Although the basil did seem a bit much. I wasn't fond of its aftertaste, but I otherwise liked it. It was also really juicy or greasy, but I couldn't tell the difference.

Rating: 7

Blind Pig Burger from The Union Hotel

Now this was delicious! I was skeptical (as I usually am with foods), but I loved the flavor and it didn't seem like there was anything that detracted from it.

Rating: 8

Hangover Helper from Bigham Tavern

This was interesting. I had my hopes up because they were last year's winners. It was also my first burger when I got here, and I was naive to think that all of them would not just be burgers but the restaurant's choice of special burger. So when I saw that this had eggs on it, I didn't think highly of this burger (remember, I'm picky?). Turns out eggs on your burger is pretty awesome. So was the sauce (Sriracha I think?). Regardless, it was my top favorite and I hope it wins the PittsBurgher again this year!

Rating: 8

Super disclaimer for the easily offended: just because I am a picky eater, it doesn't mean I can't appreciate the deliciousness I could have, nay, should have experienced. I may not enjoy some of these burgers, but these are solely my opinions and in no way reflect upon the restaurant or their burgers because I am in no way qualified to actually do so. I'm just a woman with a blog.